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Shades of Pain

by Arachnida

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1.
I'm product of your hate, I'm a rotten fruit of my fate, You all made me into this, You all turned me into this shit, In a way I thank you I am not blind like most of you, It has been a very hard path And it conditioned me too much. Some think that I must shame Because I don't know things they say They're supposed to be required To be a worthy human man, The fact is I don't really know If I'm woman or a man, The only thing I know is that I have the right to be like I am. I don't wanna be the way you want me, Stop demanding me things I can't accomplish, I refuse to do the same thing as you, I'd be like the rest If I just wanted to, I will never be the way you need me, Stop demanding me way don't want to be, I refuse to do the same thing as you, I'd be like you if I only wanted to. I'm product of your hate (x4). I don't wanna be the way you want me, Stop demanding me things I can't accomplish, I refuse to do the same thing as you, I'd be like the rest If I just wanted to, I will never be the way you need me, Stop demanding me way don't want to be, I refuse to do the same thing as you, I'd be like you if I only wanted to.
2.
Haematoma 03:46
Superficial things Have become so insignificant Compared to all the real pain I had to bear these days. Fuck off.
3.
Atrophy 03:36
I'm suffocated on emptiness, My mind is full of nothingness, When I'm alone that fucking voice Says many things nevertheless, The clock strikes, a moth that flies, Silence but lots of noise around, Someone that talks, a dog that barks, So many things I'm getting mad. I'm losing my senses, I lack of vitality and faith, This planet is swiftly atrophying, Everything is going to black I swear! My mind is distorted, My body lost all its usefulness, All things are losing their credibility, No one gives a shit about anything. Reality is so disturbing, What T.V. shows is mostly fake, Everyone thinks I'm distraught, They're so fucking ingenuous, They don't believe in what I speak, They don't know how the world really is, So blind on their optimism, I'd like to sell them on the deep web! I'm losing my senses, I lack of vitality and faith, This planet is swiftly atrophying, Everything is going to black I swear! My mind is distorted, My body lost all its usefulness, All things are losing their credibility, No one gives a shit about anything. Don't take your hand away from mine, Just bite my lips and feel my tongue, Such ecstasy, I'm obsessed! Even my pain seems to go away, Don't matter if it's just a lie; For a moment I feel alright, Don't ever stop, I want much more! Just hold me tight so I won't fall. I'm losing my senses, I lack of vitality and faith, This planet is swiftly atrophying, Everything is going to black I swear! My mind is distorted, My body lost all its usefulness, All things are losing their credibility, No one gives a shit about anything.
4.
Essential 02:23
Thanks to all the haters for always watching me Kisses for you, all motherfuckers, Thanks to all the haters for always loving me, Hugs for you, all fucking cunts. I'm so special, I'm essential, I'm so special In your life, in your life.
5.
Derrumbe 02:38
Noches eternas, mañanas enfermas, Minuto que pasa yo pierdo la fé, No es fácil nadar contra la corriente; En algún momento tendré que ceder. Los días comienzan a cansar, Las noches comienzan a pesar, Ya no sé qué hacer con mi ansiedad; Derrumba un castillo de cristal. Olas oscuras, enferman mi cuerpo, Destruyen mi mente y la dejan caer, Pronto seré yo el que vea de cerca El final de este juego en el que perderé. Los días comienzan a cansar, (Olas oscuras, enferman mi cuerpo), Las noches comienzan a pesar, (Destruyen mi mente y la dejan caer), Ya no sé qué hacer con mi ansiedad, (Pronto seré yo el que vea de cerca), Derrumba un castillo de cristal, (El final de este juego en el que perderé). Pronto seré yo el que vea de cerca El final de este juego en el que perderé.
6.
Someday 04:00
I live in a place in the middle of nowhere, I live in a country that no one understands, I live in a reality that seems to be fake, I live in a constant situation of despair. I'm sure that someday I'll finally kill myself And then somebody will spread my word and say 'It's unfortunate, another soul drown by current' But it will be too late; too late to regret. I live in a place in the middle of nowhere, I live in a country that no one understands, I live in a reality that seems to be fake, I live in a constant situation of despair. I'm sure that someday I'll finally kill myself And then somebody will spread my word and say 'It's unfortunate, another soul drown by current' But it will be too late; too late to regret.

about

'Shades of Pain' explores the different layers of suffering including physical, psychological and mental issues from the first breakdown of self-esteem to suicide. It was completely produced during my own post-operative period and it's a catharsis of it.

credits

released June 15, 2018

Completely written, recorded and mixed by Sebastián Mortiphero (excepting for 'Atrophy', which was co-mixed with Gabriel Molina).
Mastered by Gabriel Molina.

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Arachnida Santiago, Chile

Chilean-based electronic music project since 2012.

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